wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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