she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
