Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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