there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
