...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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