He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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