The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm getting married
To pizza
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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