I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
