I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
