Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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