8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
third nipple confirmed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
