Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
