Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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