it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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