oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
