I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
