I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think i have two assholes
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
