super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
