All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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