6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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