He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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