after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
