This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
