Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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