Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
two words: eviction party
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
