tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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