operation have a gay friend backfired
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
