At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
