We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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