whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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