Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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