nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
