Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
