If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
