I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
