i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
