Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
