That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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