Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
