Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
