I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
