my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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