i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
third nipple confirmed
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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