So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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