I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
