she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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