he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
