i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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