i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
