My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
