i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
