You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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