That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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